Letting Go of Perfection: Healing Happens in the Messy Middle
We talk a lot about fighting. About surviving. About being strong.
But not enough about the messy middle—the in-between place after treatment ends but before you feel like yourself again.
This is where most healing actually happens.
It’s not linear.
It’s not Instagram-ready.
It’s not always green smoothies and daily walks and checking off every wellness box.
Sometimes it looks like tears in the car.
Like forgetting your supplements for a week.
Like eating cereal for dinner and calling it self-care.
If you’re here right now—navigating the not-quite-there-yet—I want to remind you:
This part counts.
You are healing, even in the mess.
The Trap of “Getting It Right”
After cancer, many survivors feel pressure to do everything perfectly to stay healthy or prevent recurrence. It’s born of fear and memories of the traumatic feelings that the breast cancer fight left us with. I felt it too.
We think:
“If I just eat the right things, I’ll be safe.”
“If I don’t meditate today, I’ve failed.”
“If I skip a workout, I’m falling behind.”
But that mindset? It’s stressful. It’s unsustainable. And ironically, that stress can work against the healing we’re trying to create.
A Different Approach: Permission to Be in Progress
You don’t need to get it all right or perfect. You need practices you can return to—again and again. Routines that bend with your energy, rituals that hold space for grief and growth.
Healing isn’t a destination. It’s a relationship—with your body, your spirit, and this new version of you.
✨ Try This: The “Messy Middle” Reset Practice
This is a gentle ritual for when you're feeling off-track, ashamed, or like you're “failing” at healing.
Step 1: Pause & Breathe
Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly. Take 3 slow breaths and whisper to yourself: “It’s okay to be here. I’m allowed to be in progress.”
Step 2: Write What Did Go Well
Not the full list. Just one thing. One choice, thought, or moment you feel proud of today.
Example: “I drank water before coffee.” “I stepped outside.” “I asked for help.”
Step 3: Ask: “What’s one tiny thing I can return to today?”
Not a to-do list. A gentle re-entry. A short walk. A nourishing meal. A good cry. Choose one thing, and let that be enough.
This reset isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about coming home to yourself—over and over. Especially after all you’ve been through.
📓 Journal Prompt
What does progress look like in this season of your life—if you let go of perfection?
What’s Next
Next week, I’m writing to my email list about a topic that comes up all the time in the messy middle: how nourishment can feel confusing when healing isn’t linear.
If you’ve ever felt like you were “doing great” one week and off the rails the next—especially with food—you’re not alone.
Make sure you’re on the list to receive that one. I’ll be sharing more practices and a deeper look at how to build a nourishing rhythm you can actually live with.
👉🏽 Click here to join the email list
You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re in the middle. And this part matters.
Rooting you on,
Kara
Breast Cancer Recovery Coach
Founder Be Empowered Holistic Health & Wellness Coaching
Let’s Keep Going, Together
✨ Free Resource: Download my Top 10 Breast Cancer-Fighting Foods Checklist
Simple, science-backed foods to help you feel empowered in your kitchen—starting today.
✨ Feeling stuck or overwhelmed? Book a free 15-minute Clarity Call
Let’s talk about where you are and what your next best step might be. No pressure, just support.
